The One That Got Away
by knowitallsquib
Summary: Rachel poured her heart out to Jesse in the only way she could, through her song. However, he didn't realize and so they went ther separate ways only to later meet each other again. The story of the epic romance they deserved.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys, so this is my first ever fan fiction attempt, but I just love Jesse and Rachel together and believe they were made for each other. This is based off their last meeting, the song choice for nationals and the chemistry they've always had between them. Please forgive any grammatical errors and please review with any constructive criticism or if you like it. **

She saw him four years later sitting in her favourite coffee shop. He was just the same, his curls that he was running his hands through whilst frustrated, his perfect show face and his charm. She could see the waitress trying to slip him her number and she wasn't sure that he wouldn't have accepted if at that moment he hadn't seen her.

Exiting the shop again she tried unsuccessfully to avoid him and realised as soon as he said her name she knew that she couldn't escape. Resigned she turned around to face him again, realising her mistake as he took her breath away and so she responded a little more harshly than she intended;

'What do you want Jesse?'

'I just wanted to say hello, how is auditioning for Broadway going?'

'Well actually I landed a small part in Spring Awakening.' She told him politely, unsure of his motives.

'Really, because they asked me to be lead for that.'

'Of course they did,' she said a little angrily walking off at the same time.

Startled he didn't even question why he was still following her but instead chased up the street.

'Why Rach, what's wrong with that? I thought we would be able to work together professionally and that it would be fun.'

'What's wrong with that is I practically screamed out my love for you at nationals, and told you that I had realised that Finn wasn't right for me and yet you didn't see me after the competition except to tell me that you wished him and I well and that you looked forward to when took over Broadway.'

- Flashback -

Her phone beeped and Jesse's number showed up across her screen with a text asking her to meet him before she left. Hurrying across the foyer ten minutes later she felt like she was betraying Finn since they were still technically engaged. Sighing she thought to herself about how even he should've realised that she didn't love him anymore and that she still had feelings for Jesse.

For Christ's sake she had picked Paradise by the Dashboard Light knowing that Finn and her would be picked for leads. Shuester had given her a funny look when she has suggested it but with everyone else agreeing he had simply accepted it.

In her reminiscing she bumped into someone and stopping to apologise she realised it was Jesse and felt her blush deepen.

'Do you always crash into people in the middle of the night?' he teased her gently

'Shush, you know I don't and that I was just distracted.'

'Anyway I won't keep you long, I just wanted to say that if my team had to lose today it was only because of you. You were incredible today and that's why you won, you deserved this. Also I wanted to say congratulations on your engagement to Finn again and this time I actually mean it. He makes you happy and so I'm glad you have him. This is goodbye I suppose because I'm not going back with my team, now that Vocal Adrenaline's rein has ended there is no point.'

'Thankyou Jesse, I did tell you we would win though.'

Before she could say anything else he pulled her in for one last hug, holding on tightly before abruptly letting go and walking away.

She had watched him leave and didn't even notice the tears streaming down her face until she had seen Santana when she was heading back to her room.

- End of Flashback -

He continued to chase her down the street as she stormed away, trying to escape the flow of memories that he always brought with him.

'If you were telling me how much you love me then why did you not break up with him? I can't always be second best Rach, I loved you and you broke my heart for someone who never truly appreciated or understood you.'

'But Jesse…'

'No buts,' he cut her off, 'I can't keep doing this, I'll see you at rehearsal,' he said walking away.

The next day Rachel wasn't sure if she was actually looking forward to rehearsal.

_'Honestly what's not to love about him acting out his love for someone else?' _She thought irritably.

_'Wait am I jealous?'_

Rehearsal was going well, she hadn't actually had to speak to him until the female lead fell during a dance and broke her leg. Since Rachel's audition had naturally been the best, she just didn't have the experience, she was now the lead for it. And she was now expressing her feelings for Jesse, feelings she had hidden inside her since the last time that she had seen him.

_'No she wouldn't think about that now,' _she decided. However even with that tears started streaming down her face.

- Flashback -

She was walking up to Finn's room now, deciding that she should break it off with him right now. Obviously she had feelings for Jesse. She didn't get butterflies in her stomach seeing Finn, and her heart definitely didn't skip a beat when he said her name. She had tears streaming down her face until she saw Santana.

_'That bitch,' _she's leaving Finn's room, _'I bet they've been seeing each other this entire time and I was just too stupid to realise.'_

Seeing Finn, now leaning against the doorframe of his room trying to pretend that he hadn't been doing anything, she lost her temper and before she knew it there was the sound of a slap and her palm was stinging.

_'Well that's not what I planned but it will do,' _she mused.

The trip home had been quiet after that with everyone seeming to realise the tension in the air even though they had won.

- End of Flashback -

She walked in to rehearsal to find him casually leaning against the wall with her favourite coffee.

'I figured that since we're going to be working a lot together now that I should offer a truce.'

'Fine.' She said defensively.

'Good because they want to hear how our voices work together with something different.'

Rachel: 

He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

He says everything I need to hear and it's like

I couldn't ask for anything better

**Jesse:**

**He opens up her door and she gets into his car**

**And he says you look beautiful tonight**

**And she feels perfectly fine**

**Both:**

**But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain**

**And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name**

**You're so in love that you act insane**

**And that's the way I loved you**

**Breakin' down and coming undone**

**It's a roller coaster kinda rush**

**And I never knew I could feel that much**

**And that's the way I loved you**

Rachel:

He respects my space

And never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will

**Jesse:**

**He's close to her mother**

**And talks business with her father**

**He's charming and endearing**

**And she's comfortable**

**Both:**

**But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain**

**And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name**

**You're so in love that you act insane**

**And that's the way I loved you**

**Breakin' down and coming undone**

**It's a roller coaster kinda rush**

**And I never knew I could feel that much**

**And that's the way I loved you**

Rachel:

He can't see the smile I'm faking

And my heart's not breaking

Cause I'm not feeling anything at all

And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating, intoxicating

Complicated, got away by some mistake and now

**Both:**

**But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain**

**And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name**

**You're so in love that you act insane**

**And that's the way I loved you**

**Breakin' down and coming undone**

**It's a roller coaster kinda rush**

**And I never knew I could feel that much**

**And that's the way I loved you, oh, oh**

**Jesse:**

**And that's the way I loved you **oh, oh

**Never knew I could feel that much**

**And that's the way I loved you**

By the end of the song they were both really close, looking at each other as if they were daring the other to make the first move, but the moment was broken by the casting director;

'Great job kids, if all your performances are as good as this one then we have nothing to worry about. Ok, you all have the rest of the day off and the real work begins again tomorrow. Miss Berry have Mr St. James help you out with the choreography.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, thanks for the critique and compliments. I will try and keep in mind the structural suggestions. Now apologies to anyone who knows spring awakening…. I don't, so I technically don't know if there are any scenes like this. Also I'll try and keep these notes brief, if they're included at all, but I want to note that I will aim to update at least once a week even if the chapters are only this length, because I know it's frustrating to wait ages for an update. Also this chapter is only short because I thought that this was a good place to leave it.**

They had nearly finished rehearsal for the day when the casting director requested they run through the scene that they kissed in.

_It's just a kiss in a show, I can do this, after all Jesse won't be the only boy I'll kiss on stage, sure I once loved him but that's in the past._

_I remember the last time I kissed her; her lips were so soft and perfect. I loved her then._

They acted out the first part of the scene perfectly and then came the kiss. However neither of them was prepared for the sparks that flew and the kiss feeling just like their first.

'Wow, the chemistry with you two is incredible,' said the casting director, 'it feels like you actually love each other.

Laughing off the absurdity of that notion Jesse and Rachel gathered there things to leave. However Jesse decided he needed one last chance to figure out whether this really was real, after all she was the incredible Rachel Berry.

'Rach, wait up, Rach.'

'I don't want to hear it Jesse, just because kissing you was incredible, doesn't mean that I want anything to do with you. I have a boyfriend you know.'

'Really?' he asked sighing. Once again someone who wasn't even worth her time would be with her. 'Please, don't tell me it's that dork again.'

'No, it's not Finn and don't talk about him that way. His name is Brody, we actually moved in together a few days ago.'

Watching Rachel walk away once again Jesse realised that he needed her. He often told himself that he was fine without anyone and that it's lonely at the top, but she inspired him in a way no one else could she was truly the Mimi to his Roger, the Maria to his Tony.

Arriving home he asked his roommate Ken, who also went to NYADA if he knew a Brody. And frustratingly found out that they had been roommates and he knew that Rachel and he were dating.

'I need you to help me win her back, I need her.'

'You, the guy who has turned down every girl that's ever asked you out for as long as I've known you, wants a girl. It's about time, but why now?'

'Remember that girl that I told you that I hurt and she kept choosing the quarterback over me, that's her.'

'Oh, so the girl I've been telling you to find for ages. Fine I'm in but if he finds out, I was never involved. I'll invite her over for dinner later this week, I got to know her when he and I were rooming, but don't be surprised if she brings him with her.'

Rehearsals were uneventful after that day, with Jesse actually looking forward to dinner with Rachel. She was as beautiful as ever, more mature in the way she acted and dressed, but then again so was he. She didn't know that he was going to be at the dinner later that week; however he found her seeming sad in the morning of that.

'Are you alright, Rach?' he asked concern evident on his face.

'I'm fine, it's not like you care anyway, it must all just be another acting exercise for you.'

Stung by her words Jesse did not ask her again but as they rehearsed he noticed that although she was a great actress and could fool the director, she couldn't fool him; he knew something was wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, please don't hate me for the ending. Sorry if it's been longer than a week. Like I said I will try…. Life tends to get in the way, but fingers crossed that they will be at least close to every week.**

Rachel arrived at Jesse and Ken's house later that night and when she saw him nearly turned around and left again.

'Wait Rach, please don't go. We made vegan lasagne.'

'Fine.' She replied, wishing that it was as she had thought and only Ken was there.

'Rach, what's wrong, you know you can tell me anything?'

'Even after you broke up with me, huh?'

Jesse felt his heart breaking at the lack of trust that Rachel now has for hm, but he had to try and find out what was wrong, after all the last time he'd seen her like this was after he'd egged her. He still remembered the crushed look on her face as he'd smashed the egg on her head, the yolk dripping down her face, making her hair no longer the soft silk that he'd loved.

_That's it he thought, someone's hurt her. Ok, gently this time, you don't want to hurt her anymore than you already have St. James.' _Jesse thought to himself.

'Rach, did something happen between you and Brody?'

'He…..he…..he broke up with me after I didn't accept his proposal. He…he said that I obviously still loved you but you broke my heart I couldn't.'

'Come here Rach.' He said reaching out and enveloping her in what he hoped was a comforting hug once again regretting what he'd done to her. 'How about we sing about it?'

He put some music on and the beginning of the backing track for break even started.

(**Jesse, **Rachel, **Both)**

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while he got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even

_What was she thinking that Brody had actually cared, that any of the guys she had dated had, after all Jesse had broken her heart and stolen her chance at a national trophy, Finn had tried to make her choose between Broadway and him and then cheated with Santana because he assumed she was seeing Jesse again, and Brody… Brody hadn't trusted her._

_She has an amazing voice, always has. She's captivating even when she's thinking about someone else. Does she realize that I chose this song because it reminds me of her? Sure I broke her heart but I broke mine first._

**Her best days were some of my worst  
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first  
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no**

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces

_Ok, maybe Brody was right, maybe I do still like Jesse, but only a little bit. After all he was my first love; that must be it. I only love what we once had. Why does he have to look so hot, and so crushed on my behalf? Wait…_  
**They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding  
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no  
**  
**What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces**  
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)  
**I'm falling to pieces**  
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

**Oh, you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.  
Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains, ooh  
'Cause you left me with no love and honour to my name.**

_I forgave her for the Run Joey Run episode a long time ago, so why is my heart breaking like it did then. Is it because I know she got hurt by this Brody guy._

**I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...  
No, it don't break  
No, it don't break even, no**

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?  
**(Oh glad you're okay now)**  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
**(Oh I'm glad you're okay)**  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
**(One still in love while the other one's leaving)**  
I'm falling to pieces  
**('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)**

_He sounds so sincere…. Maybe just maybe he still likes me. No I moved here to follow my dreams, not to be that idiotic schoolgirl who believes in everlasting love, not that schoolgirl who believed him when he said we deserve epic romance._

Deciding that she must be kidding herself if she believes that Jesse really still cares about her, instead figuring that this must be just another acting exercise, Rachel felt her heart break just a little more. She should have known that she couldn't replace him no matter how hard she tried. Maybe she would just have to spend the rest of her life single.

**Oh, it don't break even no**  
Oh, it don't break even no  
**Oh, it don't break even no**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry everyone I know it has been a few weeks. December I always find is so crazy. Merry Christmas everyone, hope you all had a good, safe day. To make up for the lack of chapters it is longer, and I will also try and update again in a couple of days.**

3 days later…

'Rach, wait up, please stop, I was only kidding.' Jesse called after Rachel, silently groaning as she got defensive over yet another one of her ex-boyfriends.

'Why should I Jesse? I know Brody and I are no longer together but that doesn't mean I want to listen to you say horrible things about him.'

She started storming off and could hear his last ditch attempt to make it up to her.

'Can we at least talk about it, or sing about it?'

Sighing she whirled around; 'You're right maybe I am overreacting a little bit. I'm just stressed, we're so close to opening night, and I want our performances to be perfect, but I just feel like we're missing something.'

At rehearsal later that day…

Jesse and Rachel had forgiven each other for the argument earlier that day and were leaning up against the wall talking whilst other scenes were rehearsed when they heard the news. The casting director needed to find someone who could take over Brian's part in Spring Awakening because he had shooting to do in Hollywood.

'I know someone who will be perfect for the role. Should I call him now and see if he's interested and can come in and audition?'

'Sure, but only if he can get here quickly.'

Rachel dialled Kurt's number and waited for him to pick up.

'Kurt Humm-'was all he managed to get out before Rachel burst in excitedly.

'Kurt, you'll never believe it. You remember Brian, right? He has to go to Hollywood early to shoot so can't be in the show anymore and so they need a new cast member. Can you get here quickly?'

'Good thing we live so close. Be there in twenty.'

The casting director gave them the rest of the day off as he needed to hold auditions so Jesse and Rachel went to wait in a close by coffee shop. Talking about various musicals that they had seen and Broadway parts they wanted to act, Rachel felt herself feeling more relaxed than she ever had with Brody. Sure she had loved Brody in many ways; however it was always a struggle to understand him. He was quite full of himself and believed that he couldn't do anything wrong and so in the end she had just let him have things his way instead of arguing with him anymore.

The peaceful moment that Jesse and Rachel were enjoying was suddenly interrupted by a voice loudly proclaiming; 'Oh look how cute, you seem to have found someone to complain to. What are you giving him in return?'

Rachel went a pale colour whilst Jesse just coolly replied, 'Oh you must be Brody, I can see what you mean by full of himself Rach, I mean here he is trying to insult you just because he can't out-sing you.'

'Yeah that means so much coming from a pretty boy like you, I went to NYADA and I placed second with my show choir in high school every year, second only to Vocal Adrenaline.'

'Ha! Don't you know who I am? I'm Jesse St. James; I sang lead in Vocal Adrenaline from freshman year until I graduated. The only person I know who can sing equally well, perhaps even better, is Rachel here.'

'So then why did she need me at NYADA?' Brody asked with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

'Probably the same reason she needed Hudson, I'm assuming you have heard of him and Rachel, she has this compulsive need to help the worst singer she sees improve.'

'Well you're obviously all talk and no show, is that the best you've got St. James, unlike you're talk I have an audition for Spring Awakening that I have to do that I have been personally invited to try out for.'

'That's it. Sing off, right now!'

'Fine with me, even better when I win.' Brody said heading towards the stage to choose his music.

**Sung is bold, **_thoughts italics_**;**

**Steve walks warily down the street,  
with the brim pulled way down low  
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet,  
machine guns ready to go  
Are you ready, Are you ready for this  
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat  
Out of the doorway the bullets rip  
To the sound of the beat**

Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust  
And another one gone, and another one gone  
Another one bites the dust  
Hey, I'm gonna get you too  
Another one bites the dust

_Pfft what does she see in this loser anyway. Wait she mentioned a Jesse when we were dating. Something about he egged her and they never really spoke again after. I don't know, she tends to babble about unimportant things when she could be helping me or at least letting me get a word in._****

How do you think I'm going to get along,  
without you, when you're gone  
You took me for everything that I had,  
and kicked me out on my own

Are you happy, are you satisfied  
How long can you stand the heat  
Out of the doorway the bullets rip  
To the sound of the beat

**_[Chorus]_******

Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust  
There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man  
And bring him to the ground  
You can beat him  
You can cheat him  
You can treat him bad and leave him  
When he's down  
But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you  
I'm standing on my own two feet  
Out of the doorway the bullets rip  
repeating the sound of the beat

_Yeah, I totally owned that song, there's no way that this Jesse kid is going to beat me. I knew that the only reason my show choir didn't beat his was because of the rest of their laziness._

Jesse casually walked up to the stage and cued his song, hoping that Rachel would realise that this was about her, and feel the same way.

**Sung is Bold, **_thoughts is italics_

**You're a falling star, you're the get away car.  
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.  
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.  
And you're the perfect thing to say.**

And you play it coy but it's kinda cute.  
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.  
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true.  
'cause you can see it when I look at you.

_She's smiling finally, hopefully Brody hasn't upset her too much. She looks so perfect. I've wanted to kiss her or comfort her, or just help her as much as possible but at the moment she needs me as her friend._****

**_[Chorus:]_****  
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times  
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.  
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.**

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,  
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.  
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,  
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,  
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.  
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,  
And you know that's what our love can do.

**_[Chorus]_******

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la  
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

**_[Chorus:]_****  
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times  
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.  
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.  
You're every song, and I sing along.  
'Cause you're my everything.  
Yeah, yeah**

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la  
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

_She really means the world to me, but I'm not sure s she'll ever love me back._

'Let's go Rach, and see if they've chosen someone. I think I won Brody, by just a little bit. Never come near Rachel again or I'll personally make you regret it.' As they were leaving Jesse couldn't help but call over his shoulder; 'By the way the Spring Awakening near here that has private auditions today, that's the one that Rach and I are lead in.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Sung: **_thoughts_

**I guess I should've known  
It wasn't gonna end okay  
You're such a troublemaker But I like it just that way  
A bomb tick tickin'  
With neither one of us to blame  
Just like a countdown ready to blow  
I sat around a lot  
And thought about the world without you  
No matter what you think  
Everything is not about you  
You think I'm still hung up on you  
Well baby it's not true**

_Obviously from his performance yesterday Brody thought that he was leaving me behind devastated, I mean he never was good at choosing songs and another one bites the dust is no exception, but the way he looked at me as if I would still come running back, that was just annoying, no it actually pissed me off, so much more than when he slept with Cassandra._****

**_[Chorus:]_****  
Now look at me  
The memories turn to dust  
There is only one explanation  
I wasn't really in love  
(I wasn't really in love)  
It was just a crush  
(It was just a crush)  
Sparks fly when we touch  
It was never enough  
It was just a crush  
(It was just a crush)  
Yeah**

You throw away the things  
You need  
There's nothing left to lose  
The things I never wanna be  
I owe it all to you  
You just can't help yourself  
It's just what you do  
'Cause this is real life  
Not a show

_What I had with Brody wasn't true love it was just me trying to find someone to fill the hole in my heart that was put there by Jesse. It was like me running back to Finn every time just because I was afraid of how much Jesse could hurt me if he chose to._****

**_[Chorus]_******

You'll be fine  
Just find another girl  
To kick around  
Won't be long until  
They all know  
What I figured out

**_[Chorus]_******

It was just a crush **_[2x]_****  
Yeah**

Rachel stepped off the stage to Kurt's applause.

'What are you doing here so early? We don't have rehearsal for another two hours.'

'Well I could ask you the same thing, but it's actually obvious. How about we go grab some coffee and talk about it?'

'There's nothing really to talk about.'

'Uh, huh.' Kurt said raising one eyebrow. 'You're singing in this auditorium, you're not crying whilst singing about being over someone and it's not an acting exercise which means you've finally realised Brody and you was never meant to work. And I think I know why, you still feelings for Jesse, don't you?'

'Of course I do Kurt, we're close friends, but it's nothing more than that.'

They arrived at the café and Rachel placed their orders and all of a sudden just looked really nervous.

'Ok there's more to it than just that, or at least I want there to be, I mean I think he wants there to be, sometimes I just want to kiss him and I know when we kiss on stage it's more than platonic and I want to be able to spend more time with him,' Rachel babbled.

'Ok Rach, slow down and start from the start. I'll ask you some simple questions.'

'Do you like Jesse?'

When Rachel nodded he proceeded; 'Do you forgive Jesse for egging you and all the other times he's hurt you?'

'Yes, of course I do, they were just stupid mistakes he was pressured into making whilst we were both teenagers.'

'Before Spring Awakening, how were things between you? Like the last time you saw him.'

'Um, a little strained, he congratulated me on my proposal, not that, that lasted long afterwards.'

Suddenly it dawned on Kurt; 'Why did you choose Paradise by the Dashboard Light and It's All Coming Back to Me Now?'

'Why are you asking me this now?'

Kurt raised one eyebrow which made Rachel blush.

'I knew that Jesse was the one and that Finn and I were never going to work out. I also knew that he would be there. I tried talking to him afterwards but he didn't really listen to what I had to say, instead he congratulated me again on my engagement and walked off. He was gone in the morning and I didn't see him again until now.'

'Do you love Jesse?'

'Is that even possible? We haven't dated in years.'

'Rachel Barbara Berry, stop avoiding my questions.'

'Yes, I do, I just don't know if we can ever be together again. I love the way he runs his hands through his hair when he's frustrated, his cocky smile, the way that he of course got the lead in Spring Awakening, the way that he never thought any other guy was ever good enough for me. I love the way his eyes sparkle when he's messing with me and I fall for it, the way he made it so I don't like anyone singing Queen but him, the fact that our Broadway favourites are so similar and yet we still argue over which one is the best. I love how after all this time he still remembers the little things about me such as that I'm vegan and how I like my coffee and the way he stood up for m yesterday; actually the way he always stands up for me, even if it risks changing his reputation.'

'So what are you going to do about it?'


	6. Chapter 6

Rachel watched Jesse closely in rehearsal later that day hoping for a sign as to whether he liked her or not anymore.

'Kurt can you please drop it. We just got home from rehearsal!' Rachel snapped, more irritated with herself than him.

'What's wrong Diva?'

'He has a girlfriend, and she's really pretty,' she managed to choke out in between sobs.

Kurt glanced at Rachel that night as she didn't sing along to Funny Girl. _That's it he needed to talk to St. Jerk, I mean this is Rachel, she always sings along to Funny Girl, it's her go to movie._

The next day Kurt was grabbing coffee before rehearsal when he saw St. Jerk with the girl. _Well I should just hurry up and get this over and done with._

'Jesse, can I talk to you for a minute?'

'Sure,' he said detaching himself from the girl.

'I thought you liked Rachel,' he said jumping straight to the point.

'Well I do,' he said trying to choose his next words carefully, 'but she always seems to be dating someone.'

'So now you're dating a blonde, that can't possibly be your type?'

'Look, once I thought Rach and I were perfect for each other, but she always brushes me aside, she gets defensive about her ex-boyfriends if I so much as mention them, she drives me crazy and besides I've hurt her too many times,' he sighed.

'So you're with this blonde because you're afraid of something real?'

'I'm not even dating Amanda, we're just friends, but if Rach and I were to date I'd need to know that's it not just to make her ex jealous again, Brody right?'

'Come with me.'

**Sung:**_Thoughts_

**Summer after high school when we first met**

**We make out in your Mustang to Radiohead**

**And on my 18****th**** Birthday**

**We got matching tattoos**

**Used to steal your parents' liquor**

**And climb to the roof**

**Talk about our future like we had a clue**

**Never planned that one day **

**I'd be losing you**

**In another life**

**I would be your girl**

**We'd keep all our promises**

**Be us against the world**

**In another life **

**I would make you stay**

**So I don't have to say**

**You were the one that got away**

**The one that got away**

**I was June and you were my Johnny Cash**

**Never one without the other, we made a pact**

**Sometimes when I miss you **

**I put those records on (Whoa)**

**Someone said you had your tattoo removed**

**Saw you downtown singing the Blues**

**It's time to face the music**

**I'm no longer your muse**

_He used to inspire me so much with my music. I used to sing and be happy and now I always feel sad, especially when I sing a song we've sung together._

**But in another life**

**I would be your girl**

**We'd keep all our promises**

**Be us against the world**

**In another life**

**I would make you stay**

**So I don't have to say**

**You were the one that got away**

**The one that got away**

**The o-o-o-o-o-one [*3]**

**The one that got away**

**All this money can't buy me a time machine (Nooooo)**

**Can't replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)**

**I should've told you what you meant to me (Whoa)**

**'Cause now I pay the price**

_Why did I let him go for Finn. I thought that I was doing the right thing but he never really understood me like Jesse. Jesse was my soul mate, my other half and I let him just walk out the door._

**In another life**

**I would be your girl**

**We'd keep all our promises**

**Be us against the world**

**In another life**

**I would make you stay**

**So I don't have to say**

**You were the one that got away**

**The one that got away**

**The o-o-o-o-o-one [*3]**

**In another life**

**I would make you stay**

**So I don't have to say**

**You were the one that got away**

**The one that got away**

_Pfft, she's talking about Brody._

'Jesse, what are you doing here?'


	7. Chapter 7

**I am so sorry. I've been wanting to update for ages but I got a new job and so things have just been so hectic.**

Jesse stormed out the theatre. She had been pretending like she actually cared about him. She had said the same words as when he had appeared in her Junior year, except this time she had said it in a vulnerable tone, but still it must all just be an act, she doesn't really care for him, she never did.

'Jesse, wait! Jesse!' Rachel called as she ran after him through the busy streets of New York, not even caring about the rain.

'Why, Rach? Why do you always act like you care about me and then leave me for some other guy?'

'Because it's easier than being with you. If you chose to you could hurt me so much more than any of them. You know everything about me and I just- I just, I can't stay away from you, but I always seem to hurt you.'

'Well I'm seeing someone else at the moment,' he said coldly.

Rachel stopped chasing Jesse, wondering how things could've gone so wrong and why he no longer loved her. She had been sure that their old spark was still there, that they could be just as in love, if not more so than before and yet the way he had spoken to her just then said differently.

Jesse wanted to turn around and chase after Rachel, take her into his arms and never let her go, but he needed to know that she wasn't just going to use him to get back at Brody.

Later that day….

Jesse opened his apartment door to find Kurt standing there.

'I didn't even know that you knew where I live.' He stated raising an eyebrow as he did so.

'Well whilst Rachel and you have only been talking to each other at rehearsals, I've been making new friends, friends that know where you live, where you like to eat, and hang out.' He paused before carefully continuing, 'she told me what happened earlier.'

'Look I don't want to talk about it, I just want some rest before opening night tonight.'

'Just listen for a minute.' Jesse didn't say anything so Kurt took it as a cue to continue. 'She didn't tell you why Brody and her broke up did she?'

'Yes she did, she told me that he proposed and when she said no he left her.'

'Well, actually he proposed and she did say no which he wasn't too happy about, but they actually got into a fight.'

-Flashback-

'_No one will ever love you like I do.'_

'_You only ever want my help with your music, it's never been about spending time with me has it Brody, besides I had love once, real love and this pales in comparison.'_

'_This is about Jesse isn't it.'_

'_Well I'll have you know that yes he is the one that I used to love, but that is over now, and will never be again.'_

'_Pffft, what's so special about him anyway. He's an ok actor and a mediocre singer.'_

'_That's exactly why he beat you for the lead role isn't it.'_

'_The director was just biased that's all.'_

'_No, he wasn't , the director is very fair.'_

'_Well if you're so in love with Jesse why don't you just date him instead of me.'_

'_I think I will. I should have broken up with you 2 years ago, you never really loved me for me, it was always me changing things to suit you.'_

'_Fine as if I need you anyway. I can do much better.'_

- End of flashback -

Jesse sat back stunned at the news he had just heard Kurt was telling him that Rachel had left someone else for him. He allowed himself a tiny bit of hope as he entertained the possibility that maybe she does love him, and maybe just maybe at least some of it was real.

Jesse walked to his music room intent on letting out at least some of the emotions that he was now feeling, and as easily as breathing the music flowed out.

**Still framed photographs of you and me together**

**Is all I have of me and you anymore**

**We were so in love and we thought it'd last forever**

**But in the storm, we were torn**

_The storm was just an oversized, low IQ boy with no talent known as Finn Hudson, he thought bitterly. _

**And I won't forget you**

**I don't regret you**

**But the hardest thing I've had to do is live without you**

**And I wonder why we both walked away**

**I've tried without you**

**Cried about you**

**Now turn around, come back, so I don't dream without you**

**And I promise I will make you want to stay**

_I want her like I want to breathe, I don't think I can live properly without her._

**I'm digging deep to find a way that we can both be**

**Wrapped up in each other's arms for one more day**

**We've had our time to think we're still feeling empty**

**When you say that you won't stay**

**And I won't forget you**

**I don't regret you**

**But the hardest thing I've had to do is live without you**

**And I wonder why we both walked away**

**I've tried without you**

**Cried about you**

**Now turn around, come back, so I don't dream without you**

**And I promise I will make you want to stay**

**I'm sorry for all I did**

**What I said**

**And the things I hid**

**I'm finally over me**

**The past is through**

**I can't imagine where I'd be**

**If you had never rescued me**

**You gave me hope to live, now I need you**

'**Cause I need you now**

_She saved me from the state I used to live in where everything was done to further myself. The cold world without feelings that I never thought would change._

**And I won't forget you**

**I don't regret you**

**But the hardest thing I have to do is live without you**

**And I wonder why we both walked away**

**I've tried without you**

**Cried about you**

**Now turn around, come back, so I don't dream without you**

**And I promise I will make you want to stay**

'Well I would say it's obvious how you feel about her, so what are you going to do about it?'


	8. Chapter 8

Rachel watched Jesse walk into rehearsal the next day with a familiar blonde girl and felt her heart break. He walked up the director to ask something and then next thing she knew the director was calling for a change in plans.

'Take five everyone whilst I figure something out,' he announced much to Rachel's annoyance.

_'Why am I so annoyed, he told me that he was seeing someone else.'_

This felt exactly like the first time when he had said goodbye.

-Flashback-

She heard footsteps behind her and turned to ask them to leave stopping only when she saw it was Jesse.

'Yes?' she asked raising her eyebrows.

'Rach, just let me explain.'

'Why? How could you do that? Nothing you say is going to make it better.'

'I have to at least try and explain.'

'Fine.' She said narrowing her eyes at him. 'I'm listening.'

'I never wanted to hurt you Rach, I was stupid, and I got caught up with the rest of the choir. I have to win this year to have the best chance at getting into NYADA and I cannot do that with New Directions.'

'You still hurt me though Jesse. I think you should leave, Noah and Finn want to hurt you.'

Jesse felt his heart breaking when she mentioned Finn and so held out his arms to hug her one last time not wanting to let go. He held on until she finally broke the hug took one last look at him and walked away trying not to cry.

-End of Flashback-

_'No I won't think about that.' _She thought to herself, I'll just sing instead.

She snuck out of rehearsal into the abandoned theatre nearby without realizing that Jesse was not far behind.

**Sung:**thoughts

**If there's a prize for rotten judgement  
I guess I've already won that  
No man is worth the aggravation  
That's ancient history, been there, done that!**

I made so many bad choices when I chose Finn over Jesse and then when I dated Brody. I've hurt him so much.****

Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'  
He's the Earth and heaven to you  
Try to keep it hidden  
Honey, we can see right through you  
Girl, ya can't conceal it  
We know how ya feel and  
Who you're thinking of

No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no

You swoon, you sigh  
why deny it, uh-oh

It's too cliche  
I won't say I'm in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
It feels so good when you start out  
My head is screaming get a grip, girl  
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out  
Oh  
No matter who he dates I'm always going to have these feelings for him and so I'm going to continue to get hurt over and over again.

**You keep on denying  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
Baby, we're not buying  
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling  
Face it like a grown-up  
When ya gonna own up  
That ya got, got, got it bad**

Whoa: No chance, now way  
I won't say it, no, no

Give up, give in  
Check the grin you're in love

This scene won't play,  
I won't say I'm in love

You're doin flips read our lips  
You're in love

You're way off base  
I won't say it  
Get off my case  
I won't say it

Girl, don't be proud  
It's O.K. you're in love

Oh  
At least out loud,  
I won't say I'm in love

No matter how much it hurts I'm going to be happy for him because that's what friends do.

Jesse could see the tears in her eyes and just wanted to reach out and make it all better but knowing that he couldn't right at that moment he snuck out of the theatre leaving her by herself alone on the stage.


End file.
